Want to get high?

Legally and inexpensively yet powerfully?! Myristica fragrans is the name of a popular and well known spice (also called Nutmeg in the common tongue) which is available in every kitchen and yet which will get you off just as well as strong weed or weak acid.

The benefits are clear: first, it is obviously legal. Second, it is natural, not like some chemicals available which turn you into a psycho; nutmeg gives a mellow trip like Mother Nature wants. Third, it’s cheap and plentiful. Fourth, it doesn’t put money in the hands of the Mafia, which enjoys selling only “glamour” drugs to dupes who don’t care where their money goes. Fifth, it is the principle export of Grenada, so if you eat some, you’re doing a patriotic thing and helping the economy of our impoverished neighbor!

But there are drawbacks, of course. First of all, a little bit tastes good on apple pie maybe, right? — well, a whole teaspoon full is a bitch to get down! Our experimental laboratory is undecided on the best course, but currently, research is going on along the lines of mixing it up in a glass of milk and downing it real fast, then having something bland to eat. Before you get used to it, our investigators say, you should do only a little bit, ’til you don’t gag any more. The stomach settles with training! The only other drawback is that it may take you a while to get off the first time, until it gets lower in the intestine for digestion. Have no fear!

Nutmeg contains a minute amount of a chemical that shares a few structural analogies to both speed and acid; it’s minute enough so that you have to do a lot to get high, and doing a lot is repellent (an acquired taste, they call it in the trade), so that’s probably why it was never made illegal. However, why do you think it became a Christmas tradition to have some with egg-nog? — because even a touch will get you spacy!

You really can’t overdose, even if you do vomit, but be careful, as always. About two teaspoons full is a large dose, enough to make a big difference. Try to get it as finely-ground as possible.

Yours from the good ole boys who get off on weird things like this down at:

The Patriotic Front For the Salvation of the Grenadian Economy

A Better Living Through Chemistry Publication

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